i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
