I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
