I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
