Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
