So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
