why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
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chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
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How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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