Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
