so let's talk penis.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My feet surprised me
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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