I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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