You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
