dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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