make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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