I wish I only lived at night.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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