My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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