I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
her facebook's as public as her vagina
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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