Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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