shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
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It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
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Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.