There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.