we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night