the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
