I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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