If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
