I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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