I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
