i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
