Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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