I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
