wake up i wanna do it froggy style
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
