my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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