I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
God I need to hump something, right now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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