I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize