She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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