Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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