i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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