Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
