I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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