Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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