The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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