We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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