is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
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sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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