people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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