Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
