Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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