You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
