chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
