what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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