no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
