Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
