Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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