i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
