She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize