Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
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Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
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dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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