So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
