I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
