16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
