Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
