cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
