just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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