im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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