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• (217): View more from Illinois

  What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it

  Fav 5 3400 843

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.

  Fav 14 5363 1003

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins

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• (530): View more from California

  Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms

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