Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(620): View more from Kansas

She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin

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(614): View more from Ohio

I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dick very happy bro

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