I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she woke up with a sticky ear
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.