i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
