Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
